First Impressions

I want to share our experience of medical professionals and close family in regards to Jude's diagnosis. People say first impressions are everything and I can say that our first impression of Down Syndrome have shaped our expectations for Jude in a positive way.

Within the first hour of having Jude I knew he had Down Syndrome. I waited for the midwife to confirm my suspicions, and she did. But you know what else she did? She finished the newborn exam, weighed and measured him, and wrapped him up and handed him to me. They finished packing up their things and gave me my final instructions for newborn care, the same instructions I received when Faith was born. I remember sitting there holding him and thinking, "So, what else? What extra things does he need? What should I expect from him?" And soon they left and I realized, he needed the same exact things as his sister and he would do the same things she did. I wasn't told on the day he was born all the things he wouldn't do, I was told what he would do. I think this was such an incredible gift for the way I viewed, accepted, loved, and parented my son. Now, I also am very thankful for his health I do realize that there are those born with down syndrome who have heart defects or other medical issues that need immediate attention and extra care (and honestly, there are  children born every day without any kind of syndrome who have medical issues and need extra care). My midwife also was so kind when she came back the next day, she held him and told me how cute he was then looked at him and then at me, and said "he's going to be just fine." Do I think my midwife has a crystal ball and can see into the future? No. But I do know that words are powerful and my midwife used her words to encourage us in a way that set my mind on things above, looking to Jesus so I could in turn love my son just the way he was.

We took Jude to the pediatrician the next morning to get his opinion, he agreed that Jude had the markers for Down Syndrome and suggested a genetic test to be sure. But then he spent time with us and told us a story of a man with down syndrome that had an average IQ. He was also encouraging and uplifting, pointing us towards the positive. No one told us what Jude wasn't going to do but rather encouraged us to give him every opportunity to accomplish whatever he wants in this life.

We also told our closest friends and family of our suspicions that he likely had Down Syndrome. I remember my mom telling me that she told 2 of my brothers in person that night he was born. How did they respond? (I wanted to know!) They shrugged their shoulders and said "oh I thought you were going to tell us something really bad! He'll be fine!" While some might interpret that as being insensitive or not grasping the seriousness of "the situation", that's wasn't it at all! They were confident in our ability to parent Jude and they don't value people based on their genetic make up, neither should we.

Why is this so important? Because these first impressions from people built on the foundations of how we were already processing this diagnosis. We were confident in God's sovereign plan and now were set on a trajectory to have high expectations from our son.